I Wish I Could Go Back

The kids and I went up to St. George this weekend. It was a great weekend. We went up to Brian Head Ski Resort and enjoyed the snow as snow should be. I say that only because if ever there was the greatest snow on earth it's definately found in Utah. No doubt about it.

Carly didn't want to go tubing because she would have to go alone and ride in her own tube so she and I played in the snow while my sister, Sara, and Robert slid down the hill. Sara and I took turns playing with Carly so I could tube too. All in all it was a great day in the snow.

Sunday we went to church with my folks. They still belong to the same ward I grew up in so it was nice seeing some old familiar faces. All my friends I grew up with had, of course, moved away so I certainly wasn't expecting to see any of them. So imagine my pleasant surprise when I hear a member of the bishopric announce that the musical number would be sung by Judy, Dana, Trevor and Danette Maxwell. It was like we had just morphed back to 1985. The Maxwell Family was always the musical number when I was growing up. And Danette was one of my dearest friends and, so, to say the least I was thrilled to see her. We met up after Sacrament Meeting, chatted for a moment, and decided to get together after church.

Danette lived across the street from me. Actually is was more like across the street and across a vacant lot from me. I loved going over to her house. Her family was so warm, loving and accepting. So my sister, Maria, and I would always go over there after school. The Maxwell's home was a safe haven for us.

I went through a lot in High School. I'm sure it was no different than a lot of teenagers go through: low self-esteem, insecurities, acne, bad hair, no love life. All in all I was a loser. At least that's the way I felt. Really I wasn't, but I was convinced I was. But when we'd go over to the Maxwell's that was somewhat lifted. We would laugh so hard our tummies would hurt. We truly had some great times.

However, I had forgotten those good times or rather how fun they really were. All I could remember was how I hated St. George so bad that I couldn't wait to get out of there. In fact, I hated it so bad that I cut ties with every one I knew there. Even my dearest friends who truly loved me. Isn't that terrible? I know. It was. But I was a different person then. I had to get away. I had to heal. I had to learn to love the Lord and ultimately to love myself. It took many years.

Eventually, I started to come in contact with some of these old friends of mine. And slowly those old fun memories started to come back. In fact, I wish I could go back and live them again. We really had some good times. And Man! Were We Stupid!

Needless to say, it was so good to see my dear friend. She helped me close a chapter in my life I'm so glad to finally close. And she helped me realize that I wish I could go back and do it all over again. And that's a good feeling!

Thank you, Danette!