Friday, February 26, 2010

People Come & Go, But Good Friends....


It is never "Good-Bye" when it comes to good friends. It's just a "See you later" or an "Until next time". But never "Good-Bye".

Our dear sweet friend, Elizabeth, is moving to New Mexico tomorrow. We had our last Friday Girl's Lunch together with her today. I would be lying if I said that I'm okay with this. Because I'm not. I'm just sad.

I admit I have a gajillion best girl friends. However, each one fills a specific need in my life and helps me in different ways. And all of them together make me who I am. I also feel like each one has been hand-picked by God just for me to help me cope and get through this crazy journey of mine. So for one (or two) to move away just upsets my whole flow in life.

I'm greatful for knowing Elizabeth. I know she knows what she means to me and how much I love her. And I also know that this is definately not "Good-Bye". I look forward to our walks and talks and hikes in New Mexico. Nothings going to change. It's just another phase that we'll get through. But nothing is going to change.

So... until our next hike together in New Mexico!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I Wish I Could Go Back

The kids and I went up to St. George this weekend. It was a great weekend. We went up to Brian Head Ski Resort and enjoyed the snow as snow should be. I say that only because if ever there was the greatest snow on earth it's definately found in Utah. No doubt about it.

Carly didn't want to go tubing because she would have to go alone and ride in her own tube so she and I played in the snow while my sister, Sara, and Robert slid down the hill. Sara and I took turns playing with Carly so I could tube too. All in all it was a great day in the snow.

Sunday we went to church with my folks. They still belong to the same ward I grew up in so it was nice seeing some old familiar faces. All my friends I grew up with had, of course, moved away so I certainly wasn't expecting to see any of them. So imagine my pleasant surprise when I hear a member of the bishopric announce that the musical number would be sung by Judy, Dana, Trevor and Danette Maxwell. It was like we had just morphed back to 1985. The Maxwell Family was always the musical number when I was growing up. And Danette was one of my dearest friends and, so, to say the least I was thrilled to see her. We met up after Sacrament Meeting, chatted for a moment, and decided to get together after church.

Danette lived across the street from me. Actually is was more like across the street and across a vacant lot from me. I loved going over to her house. Her family was so warm, loving and accepting. So my sister, Maria, and I would always go over there after school. The Maxwell's home was a safe haven for us.

I went through a lot in High School. I'm sure it was no different than a lot of teenagers go through: low self-esteem, insecurities, acne, bad hair, no love life. All in all I was a loser. At least that's the way I felt. Really I wasn't, but I was convinced I was. But when we'd go over to the Maxwell's that was somewhat lifted. We would laugh so hard our tummies would hurt. We truly had some great times.

However, I had forgotten those good times or rather how fun they really were. All I could remember was how I hated St. George so bad that I couldn't wait to get out of there. In fact, I hated it so bad that I cut ties with every one I knew there. Even my dearest friends who truly loved me. Isn't that terrible? I know. It was. But I was a different person then. I had to get away. I had to heal. I had to learn to love the Lord and ultimately to love myself. It took many years.

Eventually, I started to come in contact with some of these old friends of mine. And slowly those old fun memories started to come back. In fact, I wish I could go back and live them again. We really had some good times. And Man! Were We Stupid!

Needless to say, it was so good to see my dear friend. She helped me close a chapter in my life I'm so glad to finally close. And she helped me realize that I wish I could go back and do it all over again. And that's a good feeling!

Thank you, Danette!

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Life is funny. One day it's business as usual and the next ... well... let's just say it's not. My beautiful sweet Belgian Shepherd died today in my arms. She was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma just a couple weeks ago. Just this passed Monday she hiked up to the cross with us and today she's gone. Wierd. It happened too fast.

It was only 2 years ago that Sabrina came into our lives. It was a total accident that I found her. I went into Theresa's Country Feed and Pet Supply to get a good grooming tool for Max and the Sales Associate said, "We've got a big black hairy dog in the back. I can show you how it works."

"Okay." I said. At this point, I wasn't even thinking about adopting a dog. However, we were seriously considering getting another puppy as a playmate for Max. Nevertheless, when the sales guy said that Sabrina was free to any good home, it totally didn't register. I just said, "Oh that's nice." Then as Carly and I stayed a little longer I started to fall in love with her. She was beautiful. Even though she was in desperate need of a good grooming she was still beautiful. And sweet. She and Carly instantly bonded. Before I knew what was happening, I began asking questions like, "So how much is she?" and "How much is it going to cost to take her home?" The poor kid must have said "Well, she's free." a hundred times before it clicked. For some reason the concept of "free" just didn't register. But when it did, I called up Mike and said, "I think I'm taking a dog home today. " And he, being the good husband that he is, said, "OK, babe. Whatever you want to do." So, Carly and I walked out of Theresa's with a new doggy and new grooming tool.

As it turned out, Sabrina was far from "free." She was 9 years old when we got her and although the records that she came with stated she was in perfect health, she was not. She had really bad teeth. The first week we had her she had to have two teeth pulled. And about every 6 months or so another tooth had to be pulled. Poor Baby. Then finally last Novemeber I took her in for another round of teeth pulling and the vet suspected a tumor. He wasn't sure though because the two teeth were so bad that soft tissue around the teeth was also so bad. So we watched her really close and hoped for the best.

I thought she just had another rotten tooth when I took her in a couple weeks ago. And she did, but it wasn't because of just having rotten teeth. It was because of a tumor. The tooth had to be pulled because the tumor had caused the root to be exposed etc. So she had to undergo another surgery.

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster. She had her good days and bad days. I knew something was definately wrong this morning when I got up to check on her. She was laying in a position that she has never laid in before, but she was able to walk out to the car for our morning jaunt to the dog park. When we got to the dog park she just stood there. Didn't move. Didn't go potty and then walked over to the cement and laid down and wouldn't get back up. I could tell she was in tremondous pain and knew we were near the end. I put the other two dogs in the car and came back and carried Sabrina to the car.

I knew I couldn't go to church today because I knew Sabrina was real close. When we got back from the dog park the kids and I knelt down next to Sabrina and said a prayer. We all cried together and said our goodbyes to Sabrina.

Tonight at around a 7:45 she was whining for me. She wanted to get up and couldn't. So I helped her up and was going to take her outside. As I was helping her, she collapsed in my arms and starting siezing. It was over. I just held her and waited for it to end. When it did I drove her to the Emergency Animal Clinic in Thousand Oaks and said my final goodbyes.

So, it's funny how life is. You can expect for these things to happen and you can know it's going to happen, but no matter what, it still sucks. It hurts. Sabrina was a good dog. I wish we could have known her her whole life. But it was definately worth every moment just knowing her for two years of it.

Goodbye Sabrina! You're ours now, Baby!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Huntington Library

I kept Carly out of school and played hooky at the Huntington Library. The weather was perfect, the company sublime and the scenery exquisite. If you've never gone, you should. It is absolutely one of my most favorite places to visit. And another reason why I love California.

Here are some highlights: