The day started out great. I got the kids off to school early, ran 3.5 miles (and didn't stop), was on my way home when I got the text, "Have you checked your email today? something something something Jared Jones has been missing since last night. something something something. search parties up at Rocky Peak."
My heart sank.
Of course, you automatically think the worse, but hope for the best. But there is something telling you, "this isn't good".
After much texting and calling back and forth. The dreaded truth was confirmed. They found Jared but he's no longer with us. Possible cause of death: suicide.
My day goes on as life seems to do, but my mood gets sadder and sadder. I can't stop thinking about Tamara, his wife whom he left behind. What about her? How is she supposed to go on? How is she supposed to live with this? And what can I do to help her????? I want to help. I want to reach out. But I don't really know her that well. I'm friendly with her at church and I knew her husband just barely. What kind of comfort or words of reassurance could someone she barely knows give?
Tamara and Jared were my sons Primary teachers last year and my son loved them. They were the sweetest couple and absolutely loved the kids they taught. So I figure I have to tell my son but what do I say? How do I tell him? He will be so sad about this. He loved Jared. He thought he was so cool because he would bring his guitar into class and incorporate songs into the lesson.
The day goes on and I pick up Robert and Carly from school. As soon as Robert gets settled into the car I tell him, "I've got something sad to tell you. Remember Brother Jared Jones your old primary teacher? He died today."
Robert said, "Brother Jared??? What??? How????"
"I don't know, baby." I say, "He went for a hike last night and never came back and they found him on the side of the trail this morning."
"Did he fall?" Robert asked
"I don't think so."
"Was there something wrong with his heart?? He was so young." Robert says.
"No. I don't know exactly what happened." I say.
Robert pauses for a moment then he says, "Heavenly Father needed him. That's why he died." I just said (as tears welled up in my eyes) "Yes. He was a good man, wasn't he?" And left it at that.
I'm still baffled and my heart still breaks for his family and his wife. And I'm still asking WHY???? Why did he do this. I probably will never know. But what I do know is this: life will go on. Tamra will pick up the pieces and be able to live her life again. And all I can hope to do is to be able to know what to do when I'm needed.